I mentioned earlier that I didn't begin my “medical transition”* for years because I didn't want to talk to a therapist. This is true, but it’s shorthand for a lot of other stuff. I didn't want to talk to a therapist because I imagined it would be both humiliating and degrading to attempt to convince an overeducated, potentially parasitic officer of the medical industrial complex that I was “trans enough” to stop talking to them and start taking girl drugs. I was, at the time, also still infected with cis-conformity brain worms and felt that talking about gender or sexuality at all was humiliating. I was also afraid because I thought that taking hormones would mean that my dick would fall off and I wouldn’t be able to have sex anymore.